I do not have a religion. why is it that shikzah's love the jewboys and jewish girls could give a rats ass about jewboys? I had a similar talk with my boyfriend and his religion, he's muslim.. but more culturally than anything. I also make the traditional food sometimes likes latkes, sufganiyot, and challah for shabbat. He used to be Catholic, but isn't into it or any organized religion for that matter. I'm Jewish (more culturally identified like your BF) and married to a non-Jewish guy. but i also felt bad for roomie, because she was having an identity crisis of epic proportions.i know very little about religion, but i had heard...somewhere along the way...that jesus was a jew. Tsada K. says:Personally, I think that it is hypocritical, not so much of the person converting, but of the family who asks that person to do so in the form of an ultimatum. I'm Jewish because my mother is Jewish, but she married a Presbyterian whose only yarmulke is the skin one that has been rapidly expanding on the top of his head for the last forty years. My daughter who is now 14, declares herself as agnostic. Have I thoroughly researched other faiths? Of course, there is the possibility that I may end up finding Judaism to be very compelling, but the chances are pretty low. Nonetheless, one’s decision to convert can be made with greater confidence and ease if grounded in a sound understanding of the religion. Get comfortable with the Qur'an, understand it to the best of your ability, and if possible finish it at least once in a language you understand before accepting Islam. So much of it comes down to her husband-to-be since he's the one who's imposing his family's belief and ideals on her. I say go through with it, as long as it doesn't make you ill. It is not required to have Muslim witnesses to your conversion, but many prefer to have such support. 4 minutes ago Tom "Some people call me the Space Cowboy" R. says:Tsada K. says:The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.Wait...what?=======================Isn't he an atheist?--------------------Sort of...he's agnostic--hence the "wait...what? 1 0. I am liking what Tom is suggesting. Donna K. says:To Hubert:Really? Good luck, Paul. Every Muslim has two fundamental and equally important obligations -- faith and works -- both repeatedly mentioned in the Qur'an. This took my friend well over a year and she became more Jewish than I have ever been. Otherwise, I don't really see why is this an issue. You'll know you have prayed "enough" when your heart finds contentment. It's all kinds of culture fu*ks right there. I accept this for my fiance and signed it. 4. Your decision to convert/revert to Islam should be based on knowledge, certainty, acceptance, submission, truthfulness, and sincerity. It would surely make things easier with his family and all that, but it's not a deal breaker. You get a new license? I had a few Jewish roommates before. I make some seriously good Jewish holiday food. It's not like that at all. I know women who did this, but each situation has its own unique dynamics, so you can't compare to them. Nope, no Christmas. Relationship with partner? Are you aware of the role of a Muslim wife? My mom didn't convert, I didn't either. At the same time, one should recognize that people can be a means of doing just that. I had a really serious boyfriend for whom I considered converting to Judaism. Cultures great and small are disappearing fast all over the world, or else adapting and evolving, like so many species in a changed habitat. Others I have dated have been of several different religious backgrounds, but I would never change mine to appease anyone. Is not being Jewish some kind of dealbreaker for him? We did both this year and last year. And how do they feel about it? most Jews these days marry non Jews and still go to shul and are Jewish. Yes, a tree decked out in blue, white & silver. Im christian but do not go to church or anything i was just christened by my parents as a baby. if you were to become a muslim what would be you role at a muslim women or as a muslim wife. Reform does not always follow Jewish law... Good luck, Donna. If you really want to marry him I agree that an inter-faith ceremony. You might not like it,but there it is. I plan to read some literature and figure it out. 21-year-old Aliyah used to be known as Alexandra. We have been in a relationship for 2 years now. I love the focus on family, friendship and food. It's odd that I am considered Jewish, but my cousin whose father is Jewish, is not. We're thinking to get married but I dont know how to ask my boyfriend to convert to Islam. Who said you had to be Jewish for the kids to be Jewish? In the end religion was not an issue and to this day my parents are happily married.An official conversion would mean you would have to study with a Rabbi and eventually go to the Beit Din in Los Angeles. Sadly, one problem that my friend had for a long time was that once people found out she wasn't born Jewish, they always viewed her as "the convert". Happy New Year, and may God bless you on your journey, accept your prayers, and guide you to the path He deems best. As such, the religion of Islam teachesthat in order to achieve true peace of mind and surety of heart, one mustsubmit to God and live according to His Divinely revealed Law.Islam is not a new religion because ‘submissionto the will of God’, i.e. Make sure it is the right decision for you first as you are making a promise the relationship apparently needs to work out. My advice to you is that if you are open to it, learn a little more about Judaism and see if its something that you can live with. She has no issues w/ her upbringing and looks forward to both holidays. I don't think I would have anyway. Raised in a Catholic environment, Adam's family was conservative and had little experience with Islam outside of news pundits and the media. Try going to services with him and read a few books on the subject. I was able to find a jewish officiant to marry us, and we had a jewish wedding....some highlights included breaking the glass, and hava negila with us being carried on chairs. It sounds like you would need to have a discussion with him about his thoughts and desires and with what you are comfortable with. He is happy to support me in raising our son Jewish, which I appreciate.It's easier for us, since my son is considered Jewish because it's passed down by the mom (me).If you have any interest / curiousity, I'd suggest taking a class or two about Judaism. But that's the choice I've made after my research. I have no religion so I am willing to consider it. You and your boyfriend's life-not your parents, not his parents. So there's really no urgency. Sara F. says:why is it that shikzah's love the jewboys and jewish girls could give a rats ass about jewboys?----------------------I have this theory, in my case at least, that it's Darwinism at its best (to prevent inbreeding). So far, I have gone to synagogue for Yom Kippur and I make a point to know the important holidays. Anonymous. And finally, this has to be a yes. Second, we are the world's single largest Muslim community united under one Imam, His Holiness the Khalifa of Islam Mirza Masroor Ahmad. I'm the product of an interfaith and interracial marriage (Catholic/Jewish & Asian/Caucasian). ----------------------In order to be considered "Jewish", the mother has to be Jewish. I’ve had some of my best nights out with him and his friends (some of them also don’t drink) because they’re just quite naturally party people. I also read that you said your family is pretty traditional and that they would prefer you marry within the Asian gene pool...obviously you can not ask him to "become Asian" but he can turn around and ask you to become something you don't identify with. If you don't believe, you're not being honest. Is this person's actual, spiritual faith going to be altered in some way just because he or she goes through some instruction and ritual? In a word, everything. I don't know if I would be willing to give up cheeseburgers, though. Can you see where this is heading? It may be true that some hoity toity hebrew schools won't accept your kids but they probably won't be very progressive either- is that what you want?So what if your kids aren't Jewish according to Jewish law? so, i asked roomie how it was possible that if she had a great, great, great grandmother who was irish catholic...and jesus was the one that got the whole christian faith started...then how was it that her great, great, great grandmother's ovum was NOT jewish???? I think what it comes down to is respecting each others' beliefs. I am very open to the possibilities and will explore this one thoroughly.Thanks everyone! Have I decided which community of Muslims I want to join? No one said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it. Islam rejects the notion that religion and science conflict. One of the meanings of Islam is sincerity. If you're a woman -- find out if the mosque you're interested in even has a place for women to pray (some unfortunately don't). This doesn't happen so much in the reform or humanistic movement.Good luck! Me and my boyfriend broke up. We got married because we were so much in love and couldn't imagine life without the other. One should convert to Islam for God and God alone. Reform synagogues have more and more interfaith families. So he is NOT forcing me to discard my own beliefs for a marriage. They are really useful and interesting to read. It was on this premise that Muslims made unprecedented advances in science, biology, chemistry, astronomy, and physics during Islam's Golden Age. as someone who was fascinated by genetic engineering (what it was called at the time) this confused, interested, and humored me, greatly. Here's the bottom line. She made the decision to convert. Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me; About to convert to Islam, but lost my Muslim boyfriend; I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesn’t know; My wife has committed Zina during Iddah but wants me back She feels very special among her friends to be able to celebrate both. If he loves you, tell him to convert to whatever you are. I've never conferted for a partner, but I did go through the motions to please my parents. Even now when I go to Church with her I do not accept communion and I do now bow down to prey and I don't recite any part of the bible. My own grandfather spent 15 years studying before committing himself to Islam. Judaism is a cool and interesting religion. Even though I'm not a Catholic, I am still proud of my upbringing and I'm glad my parents pulled me out of public school. One of my favorite biographies of Prophet Muhammad's life is available for free download here. She had no religion and no real ties to any holidays. If you like it, cool. I'm not into perfunctory behavior to make things superficially ok. That's a blessing, not a problem or a shame. A devout muslim. wendella a. says:Who is Getty Lee? If not I would seriously recommend it before you become anymore serious because you can really learn a lot about yourself and your relationship by living with your partner. Unfortunately, over 100 different sects of Islam exist today. Am I ready for the potential culture clash? Judaism has thrived under poverty and oppression for millennia - as a culture it does not hold together well in conditions of wealth or freedom. This was a reality for Adam, and is for … We have a great relationship with both our families and still can't imagine life without the other. If he's actually not religious, just culturally Jewish (I fall into the same category), why is it so important for him to have a Jewish wife? As an atheist I'd convert to save my life, or anyone elses for that matter, but I wouldn't just because someone wanted me to. So, from Adam to Zoroaster, it is important to study the various faiths. To Henry S.:Did you make it clear to your fiance? I smiled. just be who you are, love each other, raise your kids with love and honesty...good luck. That is a good thing as Islam seeks educated, thoughtful, and contemplative decision-making. The law is, mom must be Jewish for the kids to be Jewish..that's the law. Take the time to make a decision best for your personal relationship with Him. One day, as he joined my school friends during a “study party” while he was visiting me at school, I looked over at his iPad to see what he was doing in order to keep himself occupied. In Islam the man is allowed to marry outside his religion. “Islam for Dummies” was open on his screen. Author, Human Rights Lawyer, Visiting Fellow, Harvard University’s Prince Alwaleed bin Talal School of Islamic Studies, Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. Something obvious to me that I don't think anyone has said:If with great effort, study, and practice you obtain a piece of paper declaring you Jewish... yet you do not believe in the religion... in what sense are you Jewish? You'll need to remove your rose-colored glasses for this one. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. You do not have the same personal or family history. This seems like an easy one to me. At the same time, one should recognize that people can be a means of doing just that. If you're part of a reform synagogue, mom doesn't have to be jewish for the kids to be. Did I unconsciously appropriate? Indeed, Prophet Muhammad famously declared, "The cure for ignorance is to question," and "It is obligatory for every Muslim male and every Muslim female to attain education." And if u are, don't convert because u have to. So if you find yourself on a journey similar to Adam's, then here are nine questions you should ask yourself before accepting Islam. Have I prepared for the possible family and social backlash? All rights reserved. just don't try and date a Muslim as a Jews. Anyone considering Islam should be ready to uphold both of these important commitments and to maintain balance between them. However, in order for our kids to be Jewish I must be Jewish. Why would you want your children to become fully immersed in a religion that you yourself don't believe in? Reform Judaism makes it ok to have inter-faith marriages, but that doesn't change the tradition of Jewish law, which says it's all down to the mother. And how sincere is the family's own desire to keep the bloodline pure if their own notion of faith is so shallow?====+1YOU CAN CHOOSE A READY GUIDE IN SOME CELESTIAL VOICE, IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO DECIDE YOU STILL HAVE MADE A CHOICE. We didn't even celebrate it this year! One day, as he joined my school friends during a “study party” while he was visiting me at school, I looked over at his iPad to see what he was doing in order to keep himself occupied. This is something only you can gauge. He wore (still does) a yarmulke every day. If you don't care, then what's the harm in going through all the hoopla and just converting?It's all make believe anyways. It won't happen in our lifetimes, but someday there may be nobody left who fits our conception of Jewish. And second, Islam has created a system to truly unite humanity as it teaches its adherents to accept all these prophets of God. Fortunately, there are several bay area congregations that are open to mixed religion couples so I dont believe conversion is neccessary unless you plan to raise your kids jewish. :). Some Native American tribes perhaps.In most of the world the Jewish identity is dissipating, particularly between generations as most Jews outside of Israel marry non-Jews. To Jennifer:Actually, the family stuff on MY side gets smoothed out. But, according to Jewish tradition and law, the family line is passed down through the mother, which is why it's technically important for you to be Jewish if that's what you want your kids to be too, at least in the eyes of Jewish law. Reet, unfortunately, not all Muslims are a good representation of what Islam is and from what you say, your boyfriend has some traits that are extremely disliked in Islam. But as far as having the faith, I don't know. Shouldn't one only convert to a belief because they are moved to do so by a belief, and not a person? Historically I've been more attracted to non-Jewish guys (usually the Jewish guys felt too much like family, though not in every case). Belief-wise, we're both pretty atheist, though.If we were to have kids I would certainly be in favor of sending them to Hebrew school, having bar/bat mitzvahs, doing Hanukkah, Passover, etc to keep them in touch with their cultural roots. I have received a promise ring and once all the stuff with the family gets smoothed out, we plan to get engaged. I’ve had 8 sexual partners, I lie, drink, smoke. I believe the religion is matrilineal so you would have to convert if you wanted your children to be Jewish. Then leave. Now that it's been 16 years and 2 kids later, it's still a non-issue. labels. We're raising our son Jewish, but my husband isn't interested in converting. It might have been easier if I had, but it worked out well. Islam, has always been the only acceptable religionin the sight of God. A few months back Adam called me in a rage. If you are never going to marry him, leave him. If he is a bit liberal then you may continue. Some find their families actually welcomed their choice, and others not so much. Im jewish (more culturally) and my husband is Catholic, but on our 1st date, I told him I wanted to be jewish, and raise our kids jewish. !Um, yeah. Something about Jewish boys in their yamakas is kind of exciting I think. I am marrying a non-Jew in 16 days and married a non-Jew the first time.
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